I think if you were able to quantify bad decision making to a variable, then the immediate aftermath of a breakup would be somewhere between 14 pints of Fosters, and a gunshot to the skull.
It's worth saying, I feel, that I am pretty, damn embarrassed by the last Journal now that my head has cleared. Especially since it feels like a Facebook status.
As you can see by my newest addition, no I have not stopped writing. For a few days, I had bugger all in the way of work to take my mind off the situation, so I was stuck to think long and hard about the situation between myself and Kitty. For our mutual benefit, we both eventually agreed that we're two people that need someone there daily. Something that, despite all the effort I could give, I just couldn't achieve. Human limitation, boom.
Funnily enough, though, it was Doctor Who that helped me the most. Namely Tennant, a man who I adored as a kid, he was my role model and idol, someone I'd love to be like. Watching through his stint as the - best - Doctor, it struck me that everything he is, is loss. And Tennant's performance accentuates that beautifully, crafting a very human, very broken man, who soldiers through and sacrifices. Saves worlds, fells evil empires, and yet will receive no love or adoration for it.
I think it was the scene where he gives Rose a human clone of himself, that really got me. I now have a whole layer of subtext to apply to the situation, and wholly more three-dimensional understanding of how the characters felt. Doctor Who is among the few pieces of media that could make me cry anyway.
But I'm moving on with life, and this new vision came with a song, actually:[link]
How can anyone listen to that, and not picture new horizons? A fantastic world full of opportunity and new chances. Forget second chances, we're unlimited if we really think so.
But moving back to my writing with a clearer head, I finally confirmed what I already knew. I just don't need ponies anymore. I've been rebuilt, through pony, then writing, and finally by Kitty. The hardest decision wasn't just to cut everything out and cast it away, that would hurt my chances of finding love again, and I'm hopeful about that...
Ponies, though. I'm looking on Season three with worry, as it's seeming to be a very Hasbro season. It may turn out well, and I'll get round to watching all the episodes in time. I probably won't write in Equestria anymore. I want to build my own worlds, rather than lego, I wanna play with sand. Lego is set pieces you combine to create a vision, sand is organic to what you want to portray, and how good you are at doing so.
So, here I am running a bit of a risk. I'm moving away from ponies, and moving towards the setting of a whole, new world. I still want to have people enjoy this tale as they did my others. I wanna have tears, and I wanna have little "yays" pop up when I pull characters through. It's a big ask of my readers, who mainly came here because I was good at writing ponies.
But whaddya say, are you with me?