Having just read this, I have to say that I'm at least a little impressed. The writing is of fair ~quality~ even if some of the actual story told is kind of a letdown. But here's a breakdown.
Intro: Kinda short, really unnecessary, didn't really add anything to either series. Case 1: Pretty good, I don't think I have any constructive criticisms. Case 2: Okay, but using Rainbow Dash actually made me much LESS able to get into it. Case 3: Really good, the emotion and worldbuilding were at a grand high there; and the 'HOLY BUCK IT WAS DINKY' slow revelation was very meaningful. Though Twilight enhanced this one in many ways, I still felt a disconnect from the notes actually about her. Case 4&5: The Yonkers and Mets Fan chapters of World War Z were very good, I'm glad we can all agree on that; HOWEVER the fact that these two cases were just vaguely ponified COPIES with slightly worse writing made it so that I couldn't even get myself to read all of five.
Case 6: YES.
As a final note, I would like to see more. You've gotten me curious about what has happened to Pinkie and Rarity. A situation like this might be the Element of Generosity's true chance to shine. I can understand the trepidations with Pinkie, however. You'd either have to keep an over the top pony from ruining the mood, kill the least killable main character, or just pay passing lip-service.
(P.S. I always find it really bucking pointless/stupid to replace God with Celestia in these. EVEN MORE SO here, where the disillusioned have PHYSICAL EVIDENCE that their pseudo-deity ditched them. Even if it was used as an exclamation before, I can't see how it would be now.)
I'm sorry, it's been nigh-on a year since I quit pony writing. While I respect the critique and such, I have no intentions of tweaking this story or even bothering with it to a major degree.
It's testament to that, that I had to go back and re-read what actually happened in each one. I'm sorry, but pony writing lost its flavour for me to be honest.
It says something of your skill with words that it wasn't until the next day after reading that I realised how ridiculous this crossover should have been. Ever tried explaining the premise? To a non-brony? Yet you managed to set the mood and convey the emotions of each character so well that it just... worked. Looking forward to seeing what else you have stashed in this deviantart account of yours. Thanks for sharing!
Zombie apocalypse in the pony world being told via audio tapes, where ponies speak in the past tense while the narrator dubs over it in the present?
It's so fun, yet so challenging, to write the rapid tense switches and try to make them feel natural.
I've organised everything into folders, there's a whole lot of stuff kicking about in the Espresso Shots folder, too...I think. I lose track sometimes.
I love it, you're a good voice actor, especially in the initial segment with the excerpts on news clips.
Only thing I would suggest is to edit out the spaces to make the initial clips run together more. Somewhat like the scene in Shaun of the Dead where they're flicking through channels.
You have my massive approval otherwise, I can't wait to hear the interviews themselves!
Sta.sh
Yet you managed to set the mood and convey the emotions of each character so well that it just... worked. Looking forward to seeing what else you have stashed in this deviantart account of yours. Thanks for sharing!
