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Vinyl casually swilled another gulp of her drink, her sense of fulfillment only becoming more complete by the moment. Of course, while alcohol has rarely been considered a functional vector for gaining spiritual peace in general pony society, Vinyl had always found it to be an excellent relaxing agent. It dulled down her fervent miasma of thought into an enjoyable trickle that unveiled itself to her at a much slower and more manageable pace.

It was because of this new state of mind that she failed to notice the barcolt's repeated attack runs on her vicinity, swooping down on nearby tables and claiming their abandoned glasses. Each strafe drew closer than the last, and they were finished with a fervent glance over at the pair. The barcolt had managed several of these passive assaults before Vinyl finally noticed the attention she and Octavia were receiving. She stared down the barcolt as he moved to assail the table adjacent to her and Vinyl, causing him to cough lightly and cloak himself with a polite smile.

"Good evening, ladies. I hope you're enjoying your night?"

Vinyl shrugged, displacing Octavia for a moment. Octavia had fallen asleep on her shoulder, an understandable idea given the trials the day had brought to her. Octavia rarely enjoyed the sensation of being involuntarily awoken. The fact that the method employed this time was a not-so-subtle jerk of the shoulder from Vinyl hardly aided her disposition to being woken up.

"Yeah, apparently Octy here was too."
"Shu...silence, you. Are we still in the bar?"
"Yeah, you're normally meant to walk home before you hit the hay."

Octavia slid off Vinyl's shoulder, propping herself on the table in an attempt to stay alert.

"You could have woken me sooner, or at the very least told me."

Vinyl shrugged once more, mirroring Octavia's pouting expression for good measure.

"What can I say? You looked so peaceful, and I enjoyed the silence."

Octavia's pouting passed beyond Vinyl's ability to mimic, her brow narrowing into an irritated glare. It was the same glare Vinyl had once told Octavia she enjoyed thoroughly. It furrowed her brow into delicate, little lines framing her fiery eyes as she continued to glare. The barcolt had meanwhile been watching with his jaw slightly ajar, hoof raised in the air pointing at the pair.

"You're the two fillies from the story, aren't you? I remember you two little lovebirds from the night Butters visited!"

"Oh, Celestia...we'd prefer not to discuss this matter, good Sir."
"Yeah, Octy didn't like the fact she was on the receiving end of your buddy's tuba joke, mate."

Octavia buried her face in her hoof, groaning as she rubbed her face.

"Oh, I'm very sorry about that, ladies. I just enjoy reading her works. All of them. The one with you two is most likely the premier so far, definitely her most popular!"

Octavia was face down on the table, moaning her words into the bar-stain encrusted wood.

"So which one is this, again. So we know which copies to burn?"
"Oh, it's the Cellist and the Charlatan, from Issue fifteen...released on the fourth of Mare...went gold three days later. Why you'd want to burn it, I'd never understand!"
"You have a worrying memory for something private, yet based on events that have never actually occurred."

The barcolt shrugged, maintaining his now somewhat unsettling grin as he did so. Octavia hadn't seen him blink yet. She was certain ponies physically couldn't withhold blinking for this long.

"Well, you must admit that it was an extremely interesting story, at the least."
"It was the creation of the piece in its entirety that I disliked. Again, I'd really like not to discuss this matter, so if you please, mister barcolt."
"Yes, darling?"
"That was an implication that you should leave. Now."

The barcolt took a step back, remaining still very much in range of the pair's speech. Octavia found the resulting silence extremely uncomfortable, prompting her to turn back to the awaiting barcolt with a furious glare in her eyes.

"Can we help you at all, Sir?"

The barcolt idly pawed the ground with a hoof, staring at a point just below Octavia's space on the couch.

"I was just wishing to say, I knew you two would be great for each other the moment I first saw you both. It was so adorable the way you stared into each other's eyes. You're my waifus, you two."

The barcolt ejected a dreamy sigh from his lips, staring wistfully up towards the ceiling.

"Well. As flattered as we are, we'd enjoy some...privacy, if you please."

The barcolt leapt back to attention, his already fairly effeminate voice tinged with soprano levels of pitch.

"Okay, I'll be just over there if you need anything at all. Anything."

Octavia and Vinyl watched as the barcolt scampered away to the bar, still glancing in their direction between serving customers.

"Well, that stallion is quite..."
"Creepy? I'm thinking creepy, Octy."
"What is a 'waifu,' anyway?"
"I think its that stuff ice-cream cones are made of."

Octavia sighed, sipping some of her now-warm wine, before spitting it out into the glass as casually and discreetly as she could manage. Warm wine was as enjoyable as warm ice-cream in her eyes.

"You know what, have you finished your drink yet, Vinyl?"
"Yeah, I finished it before you woke back up. I got kinda bored with nopony awake to talk to."

Octavia turned away from the still-omniscient barcolt back to Vinyl, trying to pierce the shades she had decided to wear again that night. Octavia secretly despised the glasses, they made it extremely difficult to gauge Vinyl's thoughts, as though she were hiding from something. She felt that, perhaps, breaking them would be a considerably fortunate accident. As long as Vinyl didn't feel too attached to them, that was.

"Well, I'm finished. The barcolt is unveiling an aspect of his personality I find disconcerting, and I'm very tired. What say we go home now? I've had enough fun for the night."

"What...we're going home now?"
"Yes, I don't really want to stay here."
"As in both of us?"
"Unless you want to stay?"

Vinyl shook her head, nearly displacing the shade from her snout.

"Just...uhh, are we going home...together?"
"Well, again. If you want to."

The statement hung on the edge of Octavia's lips, causing Vinyl to grin. Though Octavia couldn't see into her eyes, she could see right into Octavia's. She had to admit to herself that she liked what she saw. Invitation admonished by uncertainty, a look that made Octavia's eyes sparkle in a most alluring way.

"If you insist, madam Octavia. I suppose I will have to take you home like a gentlecolt would."
"How chivalrous of you. Let's go then, just, try to avoid eye contact with the barcolt."

Vinyl stepped in behind Octavia, finding her eyes drawn to the cutie mark on her flank as she trotted in her wake. Octavia glanced over her shoulder, a less irritated expression than she expected catching Vinyl's attention.

"Vinyl."
"Yeah?"
"When I say 'don't look at the barcolt,' I don't mean stare at my rump instead."
Vinyl and Octy have an altercation with a fan of their...work. A really big fan.

Chapter 30:
[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconwriter-jm:
writer-jm Featured By Owner Jun 11, 2012
My only thought is what Vinyl's reply would have to be. "Where would you have me look instead? I'm enjoying the view!"
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Jun 23, 2012
Who wouldn't?

:icontwilightheeplz:
Reply
:iconwriter-jm:
writer-jm Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2012
And then, you post the most obvious Plot Device ever! Try not to stare!
Reply
:iconmitsukiadored:
MitsukiAdored Featured By Owner May 17, 2012
Waifus X'D brilliant...
Reply
:iconwolfyrn:
Wolfyrn Featured By Owner Feb 22, 2012
ok just clear up some confusion on my end what does waifus mean?
Reply
:iconwolfking164:
Wolfking164 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012
NOT THE TUBA! :nuu::nuu::nuu:

Coffee, now I can never look at a tuba or play it from what was supposedly read several chapters back. Damn you!

It's still funny though.
Reply
:icondeathnotefan88:
deathnotefan88 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
now this is great
Reply
:iconkakashinobaka:
kakashinobaka Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2011
Dear Celestia, I am beginning to become curious about that Tuba story now...
Reply
:iconsketchl:
Sketchl Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
And again... Next chapter should say 30, not 29. ._.
Reply
:iconsqicychiqotles:
Sqicychiqotles Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
And then EQD update out of nowhere. FUUUUUU
Reply
:iconsqicychiqotles:
Sqicychiqotles Featured By Owner Dec 12, 2011
Started reading this fanfic when chapter 15 came out (FIM Fiction). Instantly feel in love with and began stalking EQD for an update. Spent up till today wondering where the next chapter was and then saw a comment about your DA account. Come here and realize two more parts had already been released. I don't know if I should be laughing or crying >>
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
DeviantArt always receives the updates first. It's like a fan loyalty thing for my people on here. :3

No offence to people in other places, just that this is my hub for news and such.
Reply
:iconagarwaen117:
Agarwaen117 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
Third time through in its entirety in a span of two weeks. Love every minute of it. Until the point I realise my life is nowhere near this cool, then the emo side takes over. Anyway, getting OT, can't wait to see more of this. The way it is going I might have to print this out and bind it into a book, once it is complete (with your permission and for personal use only). If you were in the US I'd offer to post you a copy, but I'm afraid of what it might cost for international post.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
I'm British, you can probably tell by the lac of "Z"s in words they don't belong in. :P

My life's nowhere near this cool. I'm way above in the cowboy-astronaut-millionaire stratosphere.
Reply
:iconagarwaen117:
Agarwaen117 Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
You're a Cowboy-astronaut-millionaire? You must know Tom Brady then. >.>
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
Shipoopi, shipoopi...
Reply
:iconagarwaen117:
Agarwaen117 Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
We're going to break into song and dance now aren't we? Guess I need to inform Pinkie Pie, she'd probably want in on this. If only I knew how to break the fourth wall and contact her.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 11, 2011
You don't need to, she already has done and is fully aware.
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Creepy barcolt o_O Not surprised they left so soon, I would too :XD:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
Anyone sane would have. D:
Reply
:iconspacebunny2221:
SpaceBunny2221 Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Barcolt calls me his waifu [link]
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Yup, though I'd have gone as soon as the tuba was mentioned :XD:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
Tuu-ba...tuu-ba..tuba tuba tuba tuba....

[Jaws]
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:') Scariest rendition of Jaws ever...
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
:iconso-awesomeplz:
Reply
:iconvalenti-angae:
Valenti-Angae Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Well worth the wait! ^^

That barcolt's even creepier than Twilight on her Snapple days.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Indeed, he's a strange one that barcolt.
Reply
:iconvalenti-angae:
Valenti-Angae Featured By Owner Dec 10, 2011
Eeyup~
Reply
:iconthejackpotraven:
TheJackpotRaven Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
my friend told me i had to read this fanfic, and i read all 29 chapters today cant wait for the next chapter :iconthumbsupplz:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Damn, give that boy a cookie.

You can have a rest now, by the way. xD
Reply
:iconthejackpotraven:
TheJackpotRaven Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i did the same thing with antipodes what can i say when i read a fanfic i READDD a fanfic lol
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Only one I ever did that for was Past Sins.

Then I left it feeling fairly disappointed.
Reply
:iconthejackpotraven:
TheJackpotRaven Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
well i tried doing the same thing with Fallout Equestria but the chapters are so long that it took me a week reading all day to get through that lol
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
I gave up after Chapter four, didn't like it.
Reply
:iconthejackpotraven:
TheJackpotRaven Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yeah its either something you like or dont like, theres not really a middle ground especially since the chapters are long...i love the fallout universe in general though so i was easily addicted to it, but pretty much every fanfic ive read has gotten me hooked quickly as long as the story is good
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
I love Fallout, just not that fic.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icondaneisamonster:
DaneISaMONSTER Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
i dont really read fanfic but i have a friend who told me i had to read this. i started reading last night and whenever i have been available i have been reading this. i really dont want to become a hardcore brony but this is too much fun to not continue reading
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Heheheh..."hardcore brony."

I can imagine it, "I am so FRIENDSHIP!"
Reply
:icondaneisamonster:
DaneISaMONSTER Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
what i mean is my friend goes to the forum websites and reads fanfic and everything and i try to just stick to watching the shows
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 9, 2011
Eh, I do that...plus writing.

I'll be honest, I'd spend the time playing CoD or something if I didn't write pony. At least this is more productive.
Reply
:iconpinkiepie20:
pinkiepie20 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
omg this is so great >.< I cant wait for more
Reply
:iconpinkiepie20:
pinkiepie20 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
omg I cant wait for more of this really I absolutely love it >.<
Reply
:iconjaygryphon:
Jaygryphon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
XD~ I dun' think I'd see them ever returning to that bar~

Great piece and yes, inhaled again XD

Just took me a bit to get around to reading it. Look forward to the next one as always~
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
At least you read a bit slower this time round.
Reply
:iconjaygryphon:
Jaygryphon Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011
heh~
Reply
:iconkxp71:
kxp71 Featured By Owner Dec 8, 2011  Student Digital Artist
awesome work... again can't wait for the next chapter
brohoof
Reply
:iconbronyd:
bronyD Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011
And then they fucked. THE END. JK
i love this story. Its my waifus. ;)
Reply
:icontillsterrulz:
TillsterRulz Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2011
:icondatassplz:
Reply
:iconfandude12:
fandude12 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011
This is still my favorite octyxvinyl story

Creepy barcolt is creepy
Reply
:iconyokal5:
Yokal5 Featured By Owner Dec 6, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Wait an minute, wait..WAIT..I SAID HOLD IT!

You are awesome! Write more quickly so I can interrupt your bask in glory with another bask in glory!
Reply
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