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:iconcoffeegrunt: More from CoffeeGrunt


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Fanfic by Akamaru01

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November 16, 2011
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Lyra and Bonbon stared at the subtle whisps of smoke diffusing from Octavia's heated temperament. Ironically, the closer Vinyl was to danger, the more she pushed herself towards it by taunting Octavia. Thus, Darwhinny's Theory of Natural Selection was given a beautiful demonstration as Octavia shunted Vinyl in the ribs, causing her to collapse onto a seat. Vinyl rearranged her legs after landing to make it seem as it if were purposeful, rather than having her rump kicked.

Bonbon lightly clapped her hooves as Octavia finally cooled down, offering an apologetic hoof to help Vinyl back onto her own.

"Wow, Octavia, you sure do have a temper. Better be careful, Lyra."
Lyra snorted through her snout. "Of course, she can bring down a rugged street waif like that, but hardly somepony as capable as me."

"Vinyl is not a street waif!"
"Yeh, I'm not her wife, fillies!"

"No...you..." Octavia sighed into her hoof. "She's a...DJ. Besides what business is it of your's anyway?"

Lyra reclined casually in her seat, getting comfortable for the forthcoming show.

"Nothing much. Just admiring the intense hypocrisy you're exhibiting at the moment, Octavia."
"In what manner do you mean, Lyra?"
"Oh, vilifying me for marrying a filly. Yet here you are, with one of your own. A unicorn too, very intriguing!"
"I swear that I am not in a relationship with Vinyl. We're just...friends."
"Of course, of course. Hey Vinyl?"

Vinyl leaned around Octavia, getting a clear view of Lyra.

"Yeh, what's up?"
"Think fast!"

Lyra caught a particularly weighty hardback copy of Kazoo Weekly in her magic, and lobbed it at high velocity towards Vinyl's head. An instinctive pulse of the horn saved Vinyl's shades from being shattered by a fascinating article on kazoo case designs, enveloping it in a grey aura of magic and slowing it to a halt as it brushed her snout.

Bonbon cracked up as she fell back down into her chair, pointing a hoof at a now very confused Vinyl Scratch and Octavia.

"I knew it! I knew you two were together!"

Octavia's brain rolled into action first, as usual.

"What? How does throwing books at Vinyl prove anything?"
"I dunno, Octavia. Perhaps...her magic? Something a little different there, Vinyl?"

It was only now that Vinyl noticed the absence of her native pearly-white aura, now replaced by a more slate-grey one. She focused her horn, but it only increased in its grey intensity, rather than diminishing.

"You've got Octavia all over your horn! You dirty, little scoundrels, you two!"
"What...but I..."
"Ha! Can't hide unicorn magic, all in the subconscious!"
"Why is that happening?!"

Lyra sat up properly, looking Vinyl and Octavia in the eyes while she grinned like a cheshire cat.

"You see, a unicorn derives its power from intense concentration...yes, even her. Most concentrate on themselves, inner power, et cetera. Occasionally..." Lyra picked up a book from the coffee table, enveloping it in a beige aura, rather than the expected mint green. " A unicorn finds a pony that they concentrate on instead, without even thinking about them...or her."

Octavia crossed her forelegs, defiantly standing in front of Lyra.

"Still doesn't prove any of my involvement."
"It only happens after you...get quite close with the other pony."
"I...well...um..you see."
"Oh wow, Octavia. You are too easy to trap."

If Bonbon was cradling a warm feeling of mirth in her gut before, it was now an inferno as she bent over in laughter, falling off the chair but continuing on the floor nonetheless.

"You two...you're just...it's adorable how they...try to hide it...so badly! Reminds me of me and you, Lyra."

"Well, Octavia. I must rescind my previous insults, we appear to have more in common than I expected. Even before I received that magazine through my door."
"Wha-what magazine?"
"Tuba."

Octavia could have happily died there and then. At least, were it not for Vinyl's intervention. In a somewhat misguided sense of bravado, she wrapped a foreleg around Octavia's shoulders and brought her in tight against herself. Octavia was happy that she at least had somepony to hide behind for the moment.

"C'mon, leave Octy alone. What have we done to you two, anyway?"
"Vinyl, please. They read the magazine."
"What, the ice-cream pony one?"
"Yes, they did."

Vinyl paused for a long moment as her albino cheeks drained of what little blood they held normally. She stared into the distance as she tried to work out some means of escape, while Octavia used her as cover for the next mud-slinging match.

Lyra was already standing, although to Vinyl's surprise Lyra's smile was friendly, not intimidating. Bonbon stood beside her, leaning her head against Lyra's shoulder with a contented expression across her face.

"Well, Vinyl. I have to say I'm glad Octavia found somepony to help her edge that stick out of her rump, even if you went and stuck brass instruments elsewhere."
"Look, that didn't actually ha-."
"Yes, I know. I was joking."
"Oh, okay. How did you get it anyway?"
"Junk mail. Came with two injury lawyers letters, and an offer for a horn extension kit."
"They do those?!"
"You creep me out."

Octavia emerged from Vinyl's side, though she kept Vinyl's foreleg around her shoulder, and mirrored the action with her own.

"So what now, Lyra? Tell the world, and watch me fall? I wouldn't blame you. In hindsight, I hardly said a word when you were put under the microscope."
"Well. As tempting as it would be to see your bitter rump get its just desserts, I can't help but feel that since Bonbon has made me a better pony...revenge is such a silly thing anyway."
"So all is forgiven?"
"But not forgotten. Besides, a lesbian calling out another lesbian would hardly make headlines, would it? There's Equestrian Warming for everypony to worry about instead. Besides, you two remind me too much of me and Bonbon. Hay, you have some good times ahead."

Octavia tentatively unwrapped her foreleg from Vinyl, stepping forward and raising a hoof to Lyra's attention. Lyra eyed it with abject suspicion, before extending her own and taking it in a firm shake.

"Just remember, Octavia; I'm okay with it, other ponies probably won't be."
"I'm fully aware." Octavia turned back towards Vinyl, before grabbing her in a crushing hug. "But I suppose together, we can ignore their catcalls. Now, I remember there being a certain quartet we were forming half of?"

"Indeed, Miss Philharmonica. Are you ready to join me in the performance?"
"Miss Heartstrings, it would be my pleasure."
And finally, the truth prompts a truce.

Chapter 26:
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:iconsolar-slash:
Solar-Slash Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
THESE TEASING ARE KILLING ME LOL, AWESOME STORY HAHA
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
Holy crap, thanks!

I'm a massive fan of your artwork! :D
Reply
:iconakamaru01:
Akamaru01 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Again with the damn tuba! I sure hope no one else they knew read that magazine.
Reply
:iconwolfking164:
Wolfking164 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012
Yes, well......ummmm.......


CURSE YOU TUBA!!!!
Reply
:iconakamaru01:
Akamaru01 Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I hope none of their family read it?
Reply
:iconwolfking164:
Wolfking164 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012
Well, check out my signature now. *giggle*

Seriously, now that Coffee has done it, we must spread the word!
Reply
:iconakamaru01:
Akamaru01 Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Heh. Nice
Reply
:icondeathnotefan88:
deathnotefan88 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
now this is ZEE MAGIKS
Reply
:iconlayder:
Layder Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012
:iconphotofinishplz: DA MAGICKS!

:iconeeyupplz:
Reply
:iconone-seven-one:
One-Seven-One Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2011
Oh the tuba, what was once an instument is now in innuendo; I can only imagine who else might have read that. O.o
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
You'll never look at a brass band in the same way again...
Reply
:iconone-seven-one:
One-Seven-One Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2011
Now I know why Beauty Brass chose the sousaphone..
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Dec 15, 2011
Oh boy, you can't imagine what a pony could do with that.
Reply
:iconarcticfox501:
ArcticFox501 Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
this is sooooo awesome
Reply
:iconaverystrange:
AVeryStrange Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011
I'll be honest. Lyra wrapped this up way too quickly for her character. Oh don't get me wrong, I can see her coming around. But she'd want Octavia to admit it - in fact, Octavia should have! She should've said sorry after her attitude towards Lyra. I feel there's just a couple hundred words missing from near the end of this chapter. It really could've been a much more touching moment, with Octavia finally becoming comfortable with this and changing her viewpoint on others while she was at it.

I did think the magic thing was clever though. So Twilight's magic is now pink in the show, guess that makes Twilight x Pinkie canon.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011
I plan to essentially blitz through Allegrezza and repair a whole tonne of discrepancies, such as those.

As a whole, it's starting to look a bit...rickety.
Reply
:iconaverystrange:
AVeryStrange Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011
Okay. I guess that's reasonable. Though in that case, why are you uploading the roughs to deviantart?

Also when you do edit them just in case you didn't know you can choose to alert your watchers to a major change. I'd appreciate that so I can skip reading the roughs but still find out when edits happen.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2011
I don't have very many proof readers, and the only ones I have just check grammar. So hard to get ones that check the story overall.
Reply
:iconoctavia-fan:
Octavia-fan Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
I cant wait for the next chapter! I have been following this fic like religiously. i check for updates everyday.

great work!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
One going up in about ten minutes. :D
Reply
:iconbromonn:
Bromonn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
"You've got Octavia all over your horn! You dirty, little scoundrels, you two!"

dirty

but funny as hell
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
I think Bonbon might be best side character.
Reply
:iconbromonn:
Bromonn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
hmmm, now i dont know what to read, guess ill go check out some other stuff you may or may not have written
Reply
:icondrake-rex:
drake-rex Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I wonder what will happen now XD
Reply
:icondeviatealittle:
Deviatealittle Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
"Junk mail. Came with two injury lawyers letters, and an offer for a horn extension kit."
"They do those?!"
"You creep me out."

So, first I giggled. Then I read it again and giggled more. Then some manner of positive feedback loop trapped me, as the more I laughed, the funnier it became, until I was threatening to lose a lung from the convulsions of laughter caused by reading that line over and over, and its really not THAT funny.

You very nearly killed me with a "male enhancement" pun/joke, coffeegrunt.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
You mean mare enhancement? :P
Reply
:icondeviatealittle:
Deviatealittle Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
Stop... The horse puns... Theres so many and they're so bad and i can't manage anymore laughter. Brilliant
Reply
:iconvalenti-angae:
Valenti-Angae Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Took me a while to finally read the new chapter. (I blame Saints Row: The Third.)


To put it nice and short: I love the new chapter.

The part with Vinyl's magical aura made me chuckle. =D
Reply
:icontiepilot789:
tiepilot789 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Well I got to admin the unicorn magic thing was a very interesting concept that DOES make sense if one thinks about it. And it's good to see that Lyra and Octavia have more or less forgiven each other. And I completely forgot about butterscotch and that reference as the ice cream pony brought it all back lol. And i was looking into all the commotion with that group, your actions were completely justified Coffee Grunt! And their attempts to smear you and your supporters was just ugly and stupid. Thir group IS indeed unfair and if seen in a different angle biased. Although I saw that in the fact they only accept M x F work. Implying F x F can't be a cute thing. They disgust me.
Reply
:iconkerwas:
Kerwas Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Don't get it. What you talking about?
"And i was looking into all the commotion with that group, your actions were completely justified Coffee Grunt! And their attempts to smear you and your supporters was just ugly and stupid."
What happens? CoffeeGrunt in Trouble?
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
It's essentially "eww gay."
Reply
:iconarclightkey:
ArcLightKey Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are permenetly on my watch list. I hope to read these as they come out
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Awesome to hear. I try and update as regularly as I can.
Reply
:iconklshadowdragon:
klShadowDragon Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
The change in magical aura is an interesting idea. And Scratch and Octavia always make for such a cute couple.
Reply
:iconsaruichiban:
saruichiban Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
I must say I absolutely loved these. Just read all 25 in one sitting and craving more.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Damn, that's too much pony in one serving. xD
Reply
:iconbluerobin46:
Bluerobin46 Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'll admit the change in magical-aura coloration eluded me for a bit. I didn't quite understand it, I think I do now though. It's rather creative, that's for sure. Not sure if I'll make it fanon for myself like some of the others have said, mostly so I don't end up over-thinking it with every unicorn in the show having the magic aura thing a different color now.

It's good to see that they're at least on temporary agreeing terms. Can't wait to see what happens next. :D
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
I don't expect it to become fanon, it raises too many questions from canon.

I just noticed the colours of the mane six unicorns had changed, and figured that it must be possible to change horn colour under certain circumstances.
Reply
:iconmazzyrazzy:
Mazzyrazzy Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Vastly enjoyable as always, Coffee.
Reply
:iconcroshy:
Croshy Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
Confound this story, keeping me awake at 05:00 AM ... oh, and... write the next one! quick before my brain melts!!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Nah, then you'll be up even later/earlier!
Reply
:iconwindtitan:
windtitan Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
This time, I write to you from Chemistry class. Again, super awesomepossumsauce chapter.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
How many classes do you have? You should be doing, like, overtime revision for exams, young man! :P
Reply
:iconwindtitan:
windtitan Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
I know, man. IB diploma and stuff over here in Manila. I've got Higher level Math (although I understand that British people say "maths") to do before the rest of my weekend is consumed by Skyrim.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2011
Eck, I can't stand my current college course. :|
Reply
:iconwindtitan:
windtitan Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Oh yeah? What is it?
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2011
Electronic Engineering. :|
Reply
:iconwnaspp:
wnaspp Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
The Tuba, oh no! :D
Reply
:iconsummerpwny:
SummerPwny Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2011
i've been saving myself, so i got 3 chapters to read now! PERFECT NIGHT READ!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2011
Hah, still less worsd than a Fallout: Equestria chapter...but a heck of a lot more content. xD
Reply
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