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Octavia brandished her chocolate-pickle tipped spear at Vinyl's muzzle, who had her own stick locked between her teeth. The two stared each other down, willing the other to make the first strike. It was Octavia who made the first light jab, aiming for Vinyl's mouth. Vinyl parried the stick with a deft move of her own, poking Octavia's cheek for good measure. Octavia jabbed once more, pulling back as Vinyl moved to block the attack, then bombing the pickled onion straight into her open mouth. She laughed triumphantly, a wicked grin spreading across her face as Vinyl grimaced at the taste in her mouth.

To an outside observer, this may have presented itself as being slightly foalish. However, the barcolt had drawn differing conclusions to what a pony with a closer view and a cleaner mind may have created. He coughed lightly; a professional cough, perfectly calculated to be audible, but not intrusive. Truly, learning to cough in the right manner was half a barcolt's job, the other half - serving drinks - being relatively elementary.

"Ladies, I don't mean to intrude...but we don't like to condone those kind of acts in this bar. Not that I take any issue with it, but please, keep it for the bedroom."

Both Vinyl and Octavia gaped at the barcolt, Octavia's stick dropped to the floor, while Vinyl's dropped into her mouth, her convulsions and choking knocking the dumbstruck Octavia from her perching spot on Vinyl's stomach.

"We're...we're not...what even made you think that?!"

Octavia started patting Vinyl's back with a hoof, who's face was turning to a worrying shade of azure. She gripped the stick in between her teeth, pulling it out of the DJ pony's mouth, before spitting it on the floor.

"Oh, nothing, darling. It's just that you two seemed fairly close, is all. Very close...in fact."
"Hey, buddy. I'm not like that with Octavia. Mainly because she's an annoying prude who likes annoying prudey things!"

Vinyl pointed an indignant hoof at the barcolt, her accuracy improved by the adrenaline countermanding the alcohol in her blood.

"Like a little white knight in shining armour, how romant...oh, silly me." He grinned at the glares from the two mares. "I'll ask no more questions, so you'll tell me no more lies!"

The barcolt sauntered away. Beyond him, Octavia could see the ice cream pony from before fervently scribbling away at a notepad levitating before her, alternating her gaze between the paper, and Vinyl and Octavia. Octavia had suffered a significant number of disgraces today, mainly at the hooves of the damned mare next to her. That the barcolt even suggested the possibility. Well, it was simply absurd!

The little hayseed with the quill and paper was about to receive a sizable portion of Octavia's expansive and pyroclastic mind. She stormed up to the brown-coated pony, bearing over the notepad before snatching it with a hoof. She scanned the page, though she left it unsaid what the page contained. Octavia would have happily sent the notepad to the moon, had she the power.

Her prepared arguments were lost in the shock, and she turned to an interesting off-white, almost beige shade. Instead of her satirical intentions beforehoof, she simply tore the paper into as many fragments as ponily possible, put them in the mare's drink, and left her with a comment on how she was the lowest rung of the pony writing society.

As she sauntered away, the ice cream pony pulled out the backup copy, once more scribbling away while requesting a new drink from the gleeful barcolt.

"Another story for the fans, Butters?"
"Oh, you know me; I love the inspiration in the field."
"Can I have a copy?"
"First edition. When it's done."

Vinyl had watched the confrontation with an abject look of confusion and nonchalance. Octavia stormed up to her, seething with irritation at the invasion of her privacy in such a deep manner.

"What was on that notepa-?"

A hoof was jabbed into Vinyl's mouth.

"No, we're not discussing it. Ever? Understand?"

Though Vinyl understood, it was difficult to convey this fact with another pony's hoof between her jaws. She sputtered around Octavia's hoof, who then removed it with a disgusted look on her face.

"She's still writing, Octavia..."
"Oh, who cares? Nopony would read that crass, sick....teenage fantasy junk anyway."
"Ohhhh. So what's in the story?"

"I don't feel it's prudent to discuss it...it was quite...horrifying."

Octavia visibly shivered, which Vinyl took as face value for her being cold, wrapping a hoof around her shoulders. This jolted Octavia's mind back to the first few sentences of the...story.

"Please, Vinyl. Get off. We don't want to give them any ideas."
"Fine. You be cold, then. Besides, I know what kinda, 'teenage,' story it is anyway."

Octavia's cheeks lit up faster than a sunrise.

"Ho-how do you know?"

"It's obvious. Twilight fanfiction...just sick."
Vinyl and Octavia find a few good reasons to leave the bar. Fast.

Chapter Ten:
[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:icondraveneclipse:
DravenEclipse Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2012
I love that barcoalt. He is just hilarious on so many levels. You should find someone to draw a picture of him.
Reply
:iconsolar-slash:
Solar-Slash Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2012
This story is very interesting!!
Reply
:icondeathnotefan88:
deathnotefan88 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
yes, they are "just sick."
Reply
:iconlayder:
Layder Featured By Owner Jan 9, 2012
in a :iconsickplz: manner of sick or in a :iconbadplz: manner of sick?
Reply
:iconarcticfox501:
ArcticFox501 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
lol twlight fanfic i was XD and was like lol
Reply
:icontenyosciurus:
TenyoSciurus Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Ponies write fanfiction about Twilight?! Does she know about this?! I wonder how she feels about it...
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2011
Probably very happy that she's being affiliated with more books.
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
0:57... have work tomorrow...

Eh, I'll read another chapter xD
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
It's only 00:00 here...

Go GMT!
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
But I'm in the future!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
Gimme yo plasma rifles!
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You are too primitive to use those xD
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
Pfft, you live in Estonia. Britain's like...cultured 'n' stuff.
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Estonia?

Do you mean "European Capital of Culture"?
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 30, 2011
Pfft, I've never heard of the country before I went on GTP. xD
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconaskesalsa:
askesalsa Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Twilight fanfiction is something entirely else in that world. I am proud to say that I thought it was about a certain purple unicorn long before I thought about the other possibility ^^ What's a vampire pony called anyway, vampony?

Yet another compliment :) Love that cheeky bartender, although he gotta be careful not to lose any customers XD And Vinyl's little choking incident which could not make the barcolt get any other ideas XD

Careful with saying something like "it's probably best left unsaid what said page contained." When you say it like that it seems to address the reader directly, making it seem like Octavia is orally telling the story to her grandchildren or something. I may be wrong, but what I've read so far seems to be regarding the situation that's happening, meaning there is a fourth wall between the reader and the story, if you know what I mean.

It may be a minor thing and I may sound like a troll (please don't think that) but I'm just saying it as constructive criticism. I really like the story, more than I like many stories from well-known authors, and it's not just because it's about ponies ^^
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2011
Vampony I think, yeh...

I'll have a look at editing that segment in a mo. Clearing my way through my inbox atm. XD
Reply
:iconzero1343:
zero1343 Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
This story is really great so far, onwards to chapter 10.
Reply
:iconrysonn:
Rysonn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Student Writer
"Another story for the fans, Butters?"
"Oh, you know me; I love the inspiration in the field."
"Can I have a copy?"
"First edition. When it's done, Rayo."
I am simply in awe as to how teeming your mind is with brilliance. I really wish i was as genius as you. I can not BELIEVE how satisfying this story is, truly captivating, I used to look up to butters as the best, but i think that position is shifting to you. well done.

You truly are an inspiration. I will always remember the pure joy i felt when i read this part.
Reply
:iconifoldbooks:
IFoldBooks Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Just needed to take a breather after reading the previous chapters. Even as a brony I never thought a pony fanfic could possibly so well written :D.
You really piqued my interest, now let me read the rest.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011
...Go ahead. :D
Reply
:iconclousewalburg:
ClouseWalburg Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
"I'll ask no more questions, so you'll tell me no more lies!"
was that a Bing Crosby reference or just a phrase people rarely use
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011
Just a play on "Ask no questions and I'll tell no lies."

Not sure where it comes from, but it's a kinda common phrase here when someone wants to be secretive.
Reply
:iconclousewalburg:
ClouseWalburg Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
probably not retailed after i listened to it again but this is the song i was thinking of
[link]
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 8, 2011
Nah, never heard it before...
Reply
:iconlongshotlink:
LongshotLink Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
When I saw the line about the ice cream pony scribbling, my thoughts leapt to a pun. "She gets the scoop!" hah!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011
Dammit, missed out on a good one there...
Reply
:iconlongshotlink:
LongshotLink Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Just finished reading all these. Can't wait to see more.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011
Aiming to have more too. Thanks for the watch as well.
Reply
:iconlongshotlink:
LongshotLink Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome.
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
oh dear :') This made me giggle so much :'D I seriously love this story :D I bet Octavia's going to be feeling SO awkward after this... :XD:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011
She must seriously mixed feelings deep down...
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
mhm... But it's always interesting to read about :3 For a second there I thought that the ice cream pony was a reporter or something for one of those magazines Octavia was in, THEN she would have been worried :XD:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011
Yeh, chapter ten might take a while. My cortex burnt out after watching S2E1...
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I squealed so much when I saw that episode :') Best. Birthday present. Ever. :'D
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011
Oh wow, it was your birthday today? Happy birthday!

Celestia was just badass, and Discord was a really fun villain.
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks ^^

I know, I think it's become just the teeniest bit darker and more dramatic, they definitely know their audience this time around :D
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2011
But the4 good thing is, it's still the little girl's show we all know and love.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconbuttersc0tchsundae:
Buttersc0tchSundae Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Octavia - you're far too stuck up! ;)
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
Well somepony has to bring an element of class to proceedings, otherwise the entirety of Equestria would devolve into a menage a tout!

Oh dear, you would actually enjoy that now...wouldn't you?
Reply
:iconkaloyan-alett:
Kaloyan-Alett Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
looking forward to the next installment
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
I'm workin' on it as fast as my stubby, little fingers can type! :D
Reply
:iconkaloyan-alett:
Kaloyan-Alett Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Don't make me get the whip. XD
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
Half the keys on this keyboard are failing anyway. This little Netbook has been greatly abused...
Reply
:iconkaloyan-alett:
Kaloyan-Alett Featured By Owner Sep 16, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Aw. That isn't good. :(
Reply
:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Oh Butterscotch, you so awesome. Butterscotch is the freakin best Ponysona.
This is just brilliant my good sir, you have earned yourself a watch.
They are just so cute when they're drunk.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011
Butters' stalky ponysona is so fun to play around with in writing. :D

And thank you for the watch, sir!
Reply
:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
No problem, I might end up using stalker Butters in a story one day. XD
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011
She's a fun plot device t'be sure...

Heheh..."plot."
Reply
:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
XD
I saw one story that mentioned somepony getting hit right in the plot. :D
Reply
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