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Octavia returned to the table, delicately balancing the two drinks upon her forehooves. One was her Shiraz, having moved on from the Sauvignon Blanc she was drinking earlier. The other, of course, being Vinyl's drink. She delicately placed the glass on the table, but still with enough force to produce a noticeable bang. She had to hoof it to herself, she was doing well despite the fuzzy veil of alcohol that was draped over her mind.

Vinyl shot up from her semi-conscious position, her eyes turning from bright joy to dulled confusion. She tapped the glass, sniffing the contents before turning her confused gaze to Octavia.

"What the hay is this?"

Octavia had expected this, she'd swapped Vinyl's alcopops for something at least passable. Partly because she wanted to sit with somepony who wasn't drinking foals' juice, and partly because she hadn't a clue what the drink was called.

"It's a glass of Stagner's Pear Cider, try it."

Vinyl gave the glass another cursive sniff, before looking back at Octavia.

"Look, I'm not changing it back. You could at least try to develop a palette for a better tipple. I mean, I can't expect you to even understand why I enjoy this Shiraz, for example. But if I'm paying, you're going to drink something worthy of your palette."

"Pear cider...isn't exactly posh, Octavia..."

Vinyl brushed her muzzle against the rim of the glass, before wrapping her magic around it, and taking an exploratory sip. The sip became a slug of the alcohol, and within a few seconds she returned to the air, gasping. The now half-full glass was dropped back on the table, a smile spreading on Vinyl's face as she enjoyed the subtly sweet aftertaste.

"Gotta hoof it to ya...that was good!" She licked her lips, taking another, more measured drink.

Octavia smiled, raising the Shiraz to her lips. Her snout caught the subtle play of the peppery notes of the wine as she sipped it, the flavour itself being as powerful and full-bodied as the barcolt had promised her. She'd never tried South Zebrican Shiraz before, but she had to hoof it to the barcolt, he knew his drinks. Maybe this was a new bar to frequent on her days off.

"I'm just glad you're moving up the tables. Maybe one day I'll have you sipping refined liquors and wines like a true connoisseur."
"Yeh, or I could just stick to this. Way better than Bacolti, at least." She gulped down another slew of the bittersweet drink, before slamming the empty glass on the table, eyes glittering in earnest at Octavia.

"Look, just because you won our wager, doesn't mean I'm buying you a new drink every two minutes."

"Fine. I'll just go have fun with the jukebox, then."
"Don't think you're just putting any old rubbish on! There's other ponies with ears here too."
"I have to save them from jaw-dislocation, in case they yawn too hard at the boring music you'd play, Octavia."

In a display of both fillyish immaturity, and surprisingly sober co-ordination, the two mares leapt from their seats, racing to the jukebox. Octavia reached it first, leaning against the hoofprint-streaked glass. Until Vinyl, quite rudely, shunted her out of the way, usurping her delicately tuned balance, and knocking her to the floor.

"You did that on purpose, you little hayseed!"
"That I did, Octy...oh yeh, you'll love this!" Octavia's mind was bombarded by the same cheap, bassy music she remembered in the bar in which they had both met. "Can you hear that? Unce, unce, unce, unce, unc-ow!"

Octavia had risen from the floor like a phoenix, knocking Vinyl over to take her place. She rattled a hoof over the selection button, trying to find something worthy.

"Iron Mareden, Haul Mycartneigh, Fill Coltins, ugghhhh...is there anything at all here worth listening to?!"
"If...you...let me...finish!"

While standing was easy for Vinyl, the intricate maneuvering of the hundreds of muscles necessary to come to her hooves was now beyond her. She dragged herself up the jukebox's front, hooves slipping on the frictionless glass. Octavia couldn't help it, the sight of Vinyl pawing at the glass in a vain and fruitless attempt to stand up ruptured her into a fit of giggles.

"Alright, Vinyl. You're embarrassing me, I wasn't aware you were such a lightweight."

She reached a foreleg under Vinyl's stomach, and lifted her as best she could, the mare shakily rising to her hooves.

"Look, Octy...I swear to drunk I'm not Celestia, okay? Just lemme pick a song. I think I got one."

Vinyl has given up on magic, instead hoofing the selection buttons with the speed and precision of a geriatric. She flicked through the tracks, resting on one in particular. She tapped the play button, letting the music roll through the speakers.

A synergy of beautiful orchestral music, and synthetic electromagical noise ensued. The violins were played across with the delicate thrumming of a crackling bass, the pianos creating a punchy medley that had Octavia's forehooves tapping in time with it on the floor. It was simply a masterpiece, she sipped another mouthful of the Shiraz, enjoying the powerful taste combined with the powerful music coming to her.

Vinyl had already moved on, head bobbing with the bass, as usual. She located the chocolate fondue buffet, and balancing a stick on her teeth, speared a row of marshmallows, before coating them in a slurry of chocolate, and devouring them one-by-one. Little trickles of chocolate dribbles from her mouth, and she licked her lips like an ecstatic foal enjoying a candy bar.

"Isn't that almost cannibalism, Vinyl?"
"Eh what?"
"Eating soft, white, squishy marshmallows, when you're a soft, white, squishy pony?"

Vinyl dropped the stick from her teeth, shocked by Octavia's accusations.

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Oh dear." Octavia's mind halted, then slammed itself into reverse. "No, no, no no no! I just meant, you look...cuddly, like a marshmallow. Never mind, forget I said it."
"Good, because you try to cuddle me, and I'll go Buck Norris on your flank. Now you have to do an apology forfeit for calling me fat."
"And what, precisely, would that be?"

Vinyl giggled, grabbing a lime slice from a nearby platter intended for drinks, and coating it in the chocolate. She brandished it at Octavia, who grimaced, realising the proposition.

"Eat up, Octy, and be sorry."
"Can't I just say sorry?"
"Nope, that prissy tongue of yours scared to touch anything actually interesting?"
"Hoof it over here, then."

Octavia snatched the chocolate lime, biting onto it hard. The first moment was glorious, the bitterness of the lime intermingled with the sweetness of the chocolate. However, after the first second passed, the lime juice created a tidal wave of powerful, bitter flavour in her mouth. Her taste buds were overpowered, but she had to save face. Chewing slowly, she swallowed, rind-and-all. Alcohol was excellent for inciting stupid acts.

Vinyl must have enjoyed the grimacing face Octavia had pulled, because when Octavia turned back to her, she was on the floor in hysterics. A hoof wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, and she in turn felt a hoof pressing on her stomach. Looking up, she saw Octavia bearing down on her. Her forehooves pinned her to the floor, while a stick hung between her teeth, a chocolate-coated pickled onion nestled on the end.

"Bon appetite, Miss Scratch."
The night winds down, and Octavia and Vinyl enjoy a quiet night of light drinking and idle chatter...in an alternate universe. It's probably alot better written in that alternate universe too. Oh well, good job alter-Coffee.

Chapter Nine:
[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconultrabrony:
UltraBrony Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Taking a wild guess here, but would the song on the jukebox happen to be "Elements of Harmonics"?
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Jul 29, 2012
Perhaps...
Reply
:icondeloreandudetommy:
DeloreandudeTommy Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I absolutely lost it at "Buck Norris."
That's quite possibly the most hilarious pony pun I've ever read.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Jun 7, 2012
I do have my moments... :D
Reply
:iconmitsukiadored:
MitsukiAdored Featured By Owner May 16, 2012
Very cute! Octavia called Vinyl a marshmellow X'D too cute! I definitely can't wait how this ends! :D
Reply
:iconjoefox3272:
joefox3272 Featured By Owner Feb 26, 2012  Student General Artist
HAHAHAHAHHAHHAAAHAHHAHHAHHAHHHHAHAHHAHHA!!!!
Reply
:iconakamaru01:
Akamaru01 Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2012  Student General Artist
I swear to drunk I'm not God. I love that phrase. And a Chuck Norris reference. Nice work Coffee
Reply
:iconrahlyn:
Rahlyn Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I like chocolate and I love limes! Chocolate covered pickles would be good too. Love what I'm reading, Coffee.
Reply
:icondeathnotefan88:
deathnotefan88 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
well, I'd eat those, I have eaten thosem and chocolate covered bacon, and chocolate covered salt and vinegar lays, and chocolare covered carrots (rather good actually), chocolate covered riceballs, vanilla icing on wholegrain bread with dried chilis... wow I have really weird tastes...
Reply
:iconthe-mad-march-hare:
The-Mad-March-Hare Featured By Owner Dec 19, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is just too cool.
Reply
:iconarcticfox501:
ArcticFox501 Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
my god this so good very well written i need more of the drug called Allegerezza
Reply
:iconbromonn:
Bromonn Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2011
:icondashlolplz:
BAHAHAHAHA

"I'll go Buck Norris on your Flank"
just Priceless.

ill give ya 5/5 Head smashing Scoots for that

:iconscootalooslamheadplz::iconscootalooslamheadplz::iconscootalooslamheadplz::iconscootalooslamheadplz::iconscootalooslamheadplz:
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is my favorite chapter so far ^^
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 28, 2011
:icontwilightheeplz:

I prefer...something:
[link]
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
whaaat are you talking about? ^^
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
Something.
Reply
:iconunitoone:
unitoone Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I prefer something too... Is that okay?
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2011
:iconnopeaviplz:
Reply
:iconaskesalsa:
askesalsa Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Bacolti! You gotta be bucking with me, that's the exact same thing I called a drink in an early draft of my newest fan fic XD I use Buckmills instead of Jura though :P

And to Octavia: Don't disrespect Iron Mareden. Gallop to the Hills, The Stallion, and Can I Play With Harness are some of the best songs written in Equestrian history XD

Loved it. More compliments to the author! Compliments! COMPLIMENTS! COMPLIMENTS!!!!!

More specific: Love the way the two interact as enemies -> Rivals -> Playful Rivals -> Friendly Rivals -> What the next chapters bring :P
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Mwahahahah! I just convert every brand name I can think of to be honest...

I'm personally more of a fan of Black Stable, before Ozzy Osbosal left...
Reply
:iconaskesalsa:
askesalsa Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Well, at least you don't listen to Justin Neighber :P
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
...

Begone from my work with mentions of that little toad! XD
Reply
:iconaskesalsa:
askesalsa Featured By Owner Oct 23, 2011
Bwahahaha, nice one XD
Reply
:iconmajora26:
Majora26 Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
"Alcohol was great for inciting stupid acts." Best line in anything EVER!!
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 22, 2011
It's what it's there for! :D
Reply
:iconrysonn:
Rysonn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Student Writer
"save face" you like that phrase dont you?

very well done, i loved the marshmallow part, it was great. and Buck Norris on your flank... you truly are a genuis...
Reply
:iconrysonn:
Rysonn Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2011  Student Writer
In my opinion this is what they were listening to: [link]
Reply
:iconirisanyira:
IrisaNyira Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011  Student General Artist
I've always found 'I swear to drunk I'm not god' to be funny, you used it very well.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2011
Thanks, I liked writing drunk Vinyl. The next chapter was even more fun. :D
Reply
:iconsh4dowsentinel:
Sh4dowSentinel Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
I. Am. Loving. This.
THIS IS SO GODAMN GOOD! :D
Reply
:iconriozlander666:
RioZLander666 Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
*pouts* i cant wait for the next part ^_^
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
You'll just have to! But not too long. ;D
Reply
:iconsandwich-anomaly:
Sandwich-Anomaly Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
So much drinkey drinkey in one chapter... Now...

ninenineninenineninenineninenine... :iconmetrocopplz:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
Nein.
Reply
:iconsandwich-anomaly:
Sandwich-Anomaly Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:iconmetrocopplz: nine...
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
:iconneinplz:
Reply
:iconsandwich-anomaly:
Sandwich-Anomaly Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
9 :iconmetrocopplz:
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
:icontf2medicplz: Nein! Nine ist verboden!
Reply
:iconsandwich-anomaly:
Sandwich-Anomaly Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
why is nine forbidden? is there something in there thats too saucy for us mere mortals? and its verboTen...
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 13, 2011
Wait 'til...about 4PM GMT...
Reply
(1 Reply)
:icongimpcowking:
gimpcowking Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
yo coffee, im really happy for you, and imma let you finish, but i think Corey W. Williams has one of the best octavia/scratch ships of all time

so far...
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
Who's Corey W. Williams, and what's his fic?
Reply
:icongimpcowking:
gimpcowking Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this one

[link]
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
Oh yeh, that.

I mean to get round to reading it after I complete this, can't really afford to read it while I'm writing this. I've heard it's good, and it's obviously going to be better than this anyway.
Reply
:icongimpcowking:
gimpcowking Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011  Hobbyist Digital Artist
oh come now, youre to hard on yourself. the difference between the two stories, i think, is that "the scratch tapes" was planned out before it was written.
also, bluelood abuse, a real crowd pleaser.
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2011
OH SHI-!

*Deletes Bluebuse scene in Chapter Nine.*

:icontwilightheeplz:

Also, I can't plan writing...it just ends up feeling artificial. I imagine the interactions in my head, and almost take the viewpoint of a cameraman when I write them.
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
:') This is one of the most amazing fics I've ever read :D You make these two so funny together, I just love them so damn much :'D
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
I dunno about the most amazing fic, but thanks for the compliment. :icontwilightheeplz:

It's as fun to write as it is to read.
Reply
:iconevemonsta:
EveMonsta Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
It really is :3 I'm sure it would be, Vinyl and Octavia sound amazing to write with :D I would try, only I'm not funny enough to make Vinyl work properly :(
Reply
:iconcoffeegrunt:
CoffeeGrunt Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2011
Neither am I, that's why I mark this as a [Normal] rather than a [Comedy] on EDaily...
Reply
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